5 Ways to Lead a Child
Parenting is so much fun. It has its funny moments, silly times, and moments that our children take you by surprise. There are even moments when your child acts out in a way that makes you so proud to be their parents. You don’t know where they got it from or where they saw it. What you don’t realize is that most of the time, they get everything from you.
Do you want more of those moments? Do you want to know how you can help your children through life were they can manage their feelings, emotions, and live an intentional purposeful life? No child is too young to learn to love, to give kindness, and most importantly to feel loved. Children give what they receive and when we pour ourselves into them and fill them with purpose, value, and direction, children will walk through this journey with full tanks. Having a full tank is important for a child because then they won’t search for other avenues to fill their tanks, this is discussed in 5 love languages of Children by Gary Chapman. They will lean on themselves confidently, trust in hope, and remember that you are always there for them. On Mother’s Day we celebrated by joining with our church community and dedicating our selves to be parents that steward over our children. To be parents that lead in a way that fills their hearts up with nothing but the true words of God.
In today’s society our children are fighting for their lives everyday. On all SM there is bullying, degrading, hot or not list etc. In school there is constant emotional bullying, and mental corruption that it makes it very hard for any child to want to push through and enjoy being a child. My sister is 11 and has been bullied for 2 years consistently. Girls that were her friends turned on her, and they just say and do mean things that I can’t even try to imagine why.
It is our role to lead our children in a way that gives them a future. The most important thing I think any child needs in this moment of time, is hope. The belief that there is something bigger and better than the here and now. They need to know that all of this is temporary and that with God, there is so much they can overcome.
Our children are 6, 3, and almost 2. They all faced losing a baby brother this year. Yes, children are resilient, but there are moments were they break down, moments were they wonder about what happened to him after we buried him. They seek comfort knowing he’s in heaven, and that even though it was hard, God has a plan for him, and for all of us. My daughter was putting everything together one time, and she walked up to me and she said, “Mom, you have two babies in heaven?’ I responded accurately telling her yes and what she said silenced me for a minute. She said,
“Well that’s mean!”
I snickered a litte and said, “Yes, it’s very mean! and it’s very sad. I get sad thinking about it quite often. Do you think mommy is sad though all the time, or do you see me happy?” She said she sees me happy. I resonded with, ” That’s because I know that both of your brothers are with God, in heaven, and they have nothing to worry about, they are safe, feel loved, and know that we love them very much.” She said, “I’m happy we can visit with them in heaven anytime we want.” I didn’t know how to respond to that one except “yes, we are lucky!” I’ve discussed before how well she’s kept an open relationship with her deceased baby brother, she speaks of playing with him quite often.
I felt though that this was an opportunity that I couldn’t pass up. I had to speak more of God’s plan for us. So I went further to explain to her, that life will have many moments of sadness and things that happen that are mean. Fortunately though, God carries us through them all. I talked to her about how we all have gotten stronger together, how we pray more together, and how grateful we all have become for one another. Her response was the cutest because she says things backwards sometimes but yet they are so impactful that you can’t help but smile and not correct her. She said, “Mom, I sure am grateful I looooove you.” Boy is she right, I’m very grateful she loves me too. LOL.
Moments don’t always approach us that allow us to straight talk our children, Some families may never go through a hardship that they need to overcome together and use that to allow their faith to grow from. Either way, there are always moments, 3000 waking hours with your child to be exact, moments in the morning and after school, and even after adding up all the extra curricular activities. We have 3000 waking hours. Spend them all wisely. I’ve talked before that we use Parent Cue app to help us with these times. We as parents can lead our children to know and love God in a way that feeds their souls in so many easy ways, and activities that illustrate God. It’s so important for children and their mental health to have spirituality in their lives. To live their lives out in a manner that isn’t just inward. Their way of living becomes purposeful, god-serving, and intentional giving. So, I’m sharing with you five things we learned from our Parent/Child Dedication to help you lead your children to know, love and serve God.
1. Remember your beautiful Gift
Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him.
Your calling is your assignment, we can all live up to it, because God handpicked each of our children for us. He knew we were the best fit for each of our babies. You can do this mommies, daddies, grandparents! He believes in you. God is hungry for his children, we are all born Children of God, so he is waiting for them to seek him. He so desperately wants them. We can do this by raising our children with a Christ-centered parenting method vs a child-centered parenting method. I’m sure we all struggle with this one. I know I have so many times. Especially because as babies they take up all our time, need us, and our world revolves around their every need. We forget though that once they hit a certain age, to change that. It then carries through, and every need, and every want your child asks for is still given to them. They grow up to be self centered children, that turn into self centered adults. Not thinking of anything or anyone else than themselves. We want our children to grow up caring for others, caring for their world, and caring for what they stand for. You take them from Meism –> Weism.
2. Be Disciples
Biblical Parenting = Disciple your child well. We are the primary leaders. Discipling is all about impressing on them, unfortunately though we have until our children are about 10 to keep impressing on them deep rooted values and morals. Yes, we have the 3000 waking hours to impress them, but once they hit a certain age, they will want to listen to other, friends, and what their activities are will be of importance.
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
So it’s important to always build a community around your family that represents your values and beliefs as well. Building the team is crucial. That even means the team in the house. If your marriage is rocky your Childs stability will be as well, you need to focus on creating a stable, safe environment that feeds them with love and allows them to see partner parenting. When you have great communication with your spouse you both will raise like minded children. My husband is my team mate, and our little A Team is our main focus, so we want to provide and offer them a stable home that builds strong foundational roots to grow upon. To help build who they are. If you want to learn more about partner parenting read the blog to see 5 easy ways to build that bond with your husband or wife.
We have to understand though, with or without your child’s other parent, that it is our main role to dedicate ourselves to our children. We were shown one thing during our Parent/Child Dedication, that we must dedicate ourself to our children. not rely on their teachers, or their friends, or their school. That we must make the choice to be the one to disciple our children.
3. Purposeful Parenting. Our purpose and desire is to raise kids who love God with their whole hearts and want him forever. We do this by passing on knowledge and love of God into our children. He wants our children to grow up with hearts for him. We help with this by parenting in RED.
R-Relationships– Always be aware of the relationships that you are making. Have friends that share the same beliefs so you can raise your child in a community
E-End in Mind – What you are teaching your children matter for their eternity. I actually liked this one because it sort of gives you permission to relax a little as a parent. It resolves a lot of the fights before they even happen. For instance, if you’re arguing with your child about doing the dishes, and getting on them, and telling them you can’t go to insert here before you finish doing them. You harp and harp and harp until you’re blue in the face. Now, if you change your perspective to focus more on conversations that matter for their eternity then you won’t put so much pressure in those moments that are difficult between your child and you. Does that mean they won’t happen, of course not, just that then your focus won’t be so centered on those minute things.
D-Destination – The end goal is to raise a loyal, christ-follower, generous, and gracious little being, so when you are purposeful in your actions you too will reap these benefits and everyone around y’all will as well.
4. Be the Parent God wants me to be.
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Remember the relationships you are making, and try to pay attention to the teachable moments like the one I discussed earlier. Ask God to daily gibe you wisdom, courage, and strength. especially on those hard days that our kids are going crazy on us. Those are the days you stand up as a Chaos Coordinator and you make it work! Embrace our roles that we are given and take charge of it. We need to make our children a priority!!
We also have to realize something though, that we simply can’t do this without having a close connection with Christ ourselves. We need to know him too. I don’t know about you, but I need to seek him the most when I’m having hard days, for in those moments I’m weak and I want to just close the door and give myself time away, but now with him, I can manage through them. Calm my children down, and we can all work together. Before I would just rage out, but now I want gas
5. Lead by Example. It’s not science it’s factual, children learn what they see. So be the person you want your children to be. There’s no way to raise children to be kind, if you can’t simply be kind to people around you. if you can’t show kindness to your servers, extend grace to people in supermarkets, and on the road. If you can’t work out the relationships in your own life, you simply can’t lead your children. You have to want to be better for you and your children.
And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others.
There are always ways to learn how to be better at this role, constant reading, constant growth, constant feeding yourself so you can feed them. But in case you don’t know where to start, and need something to constantly tell yourself to help with leading your littles;
We can do this by following the 3R’s:
R-Reverance for God + his word.
R-Respect, for God’s Authority. God gives you authority over your children.
R-Regard for God’s Way.
Remember these three things to help push yourself to be a great leader. I leave you with hope, hope that you make the choice today to be your child’s disciple, to lead them in a life full of love, hope, and faith. may you all live a life that serves our God, for the better good of this world. For we all desperately need kind and loving people to flood this earth. I challenge you, step up to God’s Plan for you. Are you ready?